Headlines I Wish I Hadn’t Seen

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  1. JD says:

    “Unemployed workers are more likely to leave the job market than to find work.”

    Sounds about right.

    • Buster says:

      There is a growing trend for out of work Baby Boomers to apply for Social Security disability when they get laid off and realize there’s little chance of finding another job.

  2. Baker says:

    1st link makes sense considering only 47% of Americans have a job.

    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2013/07/05/only-47-americans-have-full-time-job

    • JD says:

      We may be in serious trouble. What is the saying about what happens when the dependent class is large enough to vote themselves whatever they want?

  3. August says:

    “Were I married, my wife might like to know why I burned 100 calories between 1:07 to 2:00 am, without taking a single step, and fell asleep right afterwards.”

    Good for him.

  4. Tommy says:

    “Transparency is also likely the end of the fake orgasm, since I will know exactly how hard my partner is working.”

    Guys, this may be your new best friend.

    • Dewaine says:

      Or worst enemy. Wouldn’t you rather live in comfortable delusion?

      • Tommy says:

        Well, I would assume over time women get tired of lying and would seek to get the “real deal” elsewhere. Honesty is a key element in any relationship.

  5. Dewaine says:

    “The IRS mistakenly exposed thousands of Social Security numbers.”

    The more important the thing that you entrust to the government, the more painful it’ll be when they screw it up.

    • Tommy says:

      This can happen with any entity though, not just the government.

      • Dewaine says:

        True, but it seems to happen more often with government. With other entities you can take your money and go somewhere else.

  6. Studebaker says:

    With access to a health tracking watch that monitors your heart rate minute-by-minute, your spouse can tell when you had sex…

    I’m not sure why someone would stay with a spouse they had to be monitored minute-by-minute to prevent infidelity.

  7. Bob says:

    If all the unemployed would just stop looking for work, we could get the unemployment rate down to zero.